Yes, I am. And I do not need someone to tell me that. And guess what, neither do you. You don't need a man to tell you how pretty you are in your lavender dress or how cute you look in your Mickey Mouse headband. And it's just so sad to think that you haven't realized that by now. That every time someone compliments you, every time he compliments you, you still feel like it's the greatest thing that ever happened to you. No. Stop feeling that way every time he does that. It's not bad to feel flattered because seriously, who doesn't feel flattered every time someone compliments them? But my point here is, you should stop thinking that you need other people to tell you that you're beautiful. That you need someone to make you feel you are. That you need him to make you feel the butterflies in your stomach. And that without him, you feel empty. You feel like all the colors were taken away from you and you're just a blank sketch pad. An unfinished work of art.
I admit, it took me 18 years before I realize this and now that I did, I think that I might, that I should share this thought with all of you, too. Especially since most girls now believe that they're not beautiful unless a man tell them so.
And baby girl, let me tell you this, that is not okay. For you to think that you're nothing without him. You don't have to depend on someone to boost you up, to raise your confidence. You should know that you're more than enough. You yourself can make you feel beautiful, not some random guy you just met. Not even the guy you've dated for a year now.
Yes, I know it's hard. To believe that you're beautiful without someone telling it straight to your face. People may think you're overflowing with confidence and that you're too conceited and full of yourself, and they may even hate you or dislike you for that (I am not exaggerating things here. Let's just face the fact that we're living in this kind of society). I used to be like that before. I always needed assurance to know that indeed I am beautiful. I refuse to believe in myself, I think so little of myself, I drown myself with negative thoughts everyday. I'll let you in on a little secret, I was so full of insecurities. I still am, actually, but not quite as I was before. I think that I'm never good enough for anything, for anyone. That I lack something and everybody's too good for me. That everything I do is, and will never be enough. Things changed when I entered entered a relationship. The guy I was with that time told me all I needed to hear to make me feel better. He spoke words that had the power to erase all my insecurities. (See? I told you, I was a lot like you before). I breathed in every word he uttered, like oxygen. He build me up, made me feel like I was the most beautiful girl he ever laid his eyes on. He became my source of confidence. Whenever I feel like I cannot do anything or feel like I'm ugly, he's always there to tell me I can do everything and most importantly, I am beautiful. I held on to him like he was a part of me already. That if taken away from me, I won't be whole (so pathetic, I know). Well, you know what happened next, what always happen to relationships like this. We broke up. Well, he left me actually (for my bestfriend). And that shattered me. The beautiful tower of confidence and security he once build came crumbling down. I was once again exposed to my negative thoughts and insecurities. Am I not beautiful anymore in his eyes? What did I do to mess it all up? We were so perfect. I was left with gazillion of questions left unanswered until now. I started talking less, I became a bit of anti-social, cutting people off my life. See what happens when you let other people build you up? You'll feel like shit once they leave you.
It took me almost 2 years (yes, you read that right. 2 long years) to realize the shit I should've realized a long time ago. I DO NOT NEED A MAN TO FVCKING TELL ME MY WORTH. It is like giving him the power to take over my life. Why? Because he'll think that without him, without his words, you're nothing. That he's the only person in the entire Universe who can make you feel good about yourself. Well prove him wrong! Show him that you're whole and complete even without him. That it is you and only you who can make you feel good about yourself. Do not let him tell you your worth, you are not his property in the first place. Stop feeling incomplete without him, stop saying you're nothing and broken without him by your side. And please, always remember that you were beautiful before he even told you that you were.
So heads up, princess! You are beautiful and you don't need a man to tell you that. You are enough. More than enough :) xx
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