When Is He Coming Back?

When Is He Coming Back?

Stop asking when he’s coming back, because he’s not. He’s not coming back. He doesn’t love you that much anymore to walk up your front porch, bring you pizza and try to win you back like the way he used to before. You know why? Because he already found someone new. Ha! It hit you, didn’t it?

Remember when he told you that he’ll never leave you? I’m pretty sure he’s uttering that same promise right now, just not to you. Remember when you were so scared of the thunder, you called him in the middle of the night and he told you he’ll always be there to answer your calls during stormy nights? Well, guess what, the girl he’s with now isn’t afraid of thunders and stormy nights. Remember when you’re inside a horror chamber and you got scared, so scared that you squeezed his hand so tight with your sweaty palm? Guess again. She is not afraid of creepy Halloween costumes and scary sound effects. Remember when you watched a movie that wasn’t supposed to make you cry, but you cried anyways because that’s who you are. You cry even at the most littlest of things. You said sorry and he said, “It’s okay. That’s cute” and smiled. And that’s when you knew you’re in love. You started falling for your best friend right in that moment (Shit!). Even if you know you shouldn’t, you fell anyway.

You tried hiding it; denying it even. “Maybe it’s just a stupid crush. It’ll go away soon” you said to yourself while you were at the library studying for your exams and he’s in front of you looking so perfect and flawless. But every time you stare into his eyes, you get lost in its deep blue ocean.  You know it’s more than just a crush. It’s much more than just a simple crush. And you know you’re screwed. So here we go with the denying and hiding and pretending not to like him part again. It’s so hard. So damn hard not to fall for him even more because of those eyes, you could just get lost in them. His smile, his smile that could cure maybe even cancer. His laugh, oh especially his laugh. Like that of an innocent child’s. Pretty much everything about him amazes you! Even the scar on his left brow that you used to think was gross; you started loving it, too. He looked up from reading a book and smiled at you. That’s when you decided it’s time to tell him. Tell him how you feel towards him. You smiled back.

Monday morning. You’re dressed in your most beautiful dress. The one he said was his favorite because you look so pretty and innocent when you’re wearing it. You showered longer, maybe 15 minutes longer than you usual 10-minute shower time. You even had your brows done by your sister and you wore lipstick for the very first time! All for him. Because you wanted to look “pretty” when you profess your feelings towards him.

*lub dub lub dub lub dub* you saw him standing 20 feet away from you. You started walking slowly towards him. Slowly, 18 feet away, slowly, 16 feet away, slowly, 15 feet away, 10 feet, 9… and stopped. He’s talking to someone. A girl. He looked so happy. You’ve never seen him smile like that before. Yes, you saw him almost teary eyed because of excessive laughing kind of happy. But this was a different kind of happy, and it shows in his eyes. He never looked at you like the way he’s looking at her now. You slowly felt something tearing inside you. You suddenly felt like some heavy object has just been placed on your chest. You suddenly struggled to gasp for air. You can’t take this anymore. And so you turned around and ran towards the comfort room and locked yourself in. You don’t care how long you were locked inside. All you knew was that you had to let it out or else you’re going to explode. You looked at yourself in the mirror. You’re hair’s a mess. Your mascara’s smudged, so is your eyeliner. Your once perfectly done brows looked like it’s been drawn by a 2 year old kid. Your lipstick, what was earlier a happy shade of red, now was just a sad, pale, almost invisible red. And your dress! It’s got make up stains on it now. And you don’t care. You don’t care anymore. You washed your face and tried fixing your messy hair. You look presentable now. Almost as if you’ve never cried. Well, except for your eyes. They’re swollen and red and tired from all the crying. But you still went out. You refuse to let it break you completely. And that’s a good thing. But how long can you keep it up? How long can you pretend that you’re okay? You’re going to see him again later. Maybe with her, this time.

Lunch time came. You were right. She’s there on the table with you. Right in front of you. She’s so pretty. Maybe that’s what he liked about her. She started talking and that’s when it hit you, “It was never her pretty face. No, it was the way she speaks about the things she loves with passion in her eyes. The way she tells her future plans with confidence and certainty. You can really tell that she's got a good life ahead of her. Her jokes, funny yet witty. And her laugh. They almost have the same laugh.”

She was your exact opposite. And maybe that’s what he liked about her. He doesn’t have to always assure her that she’s pretty because she, herself already knows this. She’s smart without ever being rude. What else? Oh, she’s not afraid of thunders and lightning, he doesn’t have to wake up in the middle of the night, sleep interrupted just because someone’s afraid of a little light from the Heavens. She is confident without giving off that conceited and arrogant impression. She’s very sure of everything she says. She’s not pretentious know-it-all just to impress people around her. She walks with her head high, something you can never do. The total opposite of you *sigh*.

So, back to the question, “When is he coming back?” Never. Yep, you read it right. Never. He’s never coming back. The guy who’s always there for you already found someone who needs his time more than you do. You can never go to horror chambers and watch movies and do fun stuff alone. Because again, he already found someone new to do all these things with. And you’re left with no other choice but to just accept this because what else could you do? He’s never coming back.